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Zeile 2.239:
and I saw the restrictiveness of the personal aspect of running an organization,
five directors in Boston…
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=== Englisch: (Freedom On The Beach, Tape 3, Seite B) ===
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Well, I won’t go into church history, but it’s been
through litigation time and again, and whole churches disappeared back
in 1922. See, once Mrs. Eddy was gone from the scene in 1910, the Board
of Directors immediately began deciding how can they move into her position
as Pastor Emeritus and run things themselves? The Board of Directors was
a trust set up in the matter (inaudible), and another trust constituting
the Board of Trustees for the Publishing Society. They were two completely
separate trusts operating under the authority of the Church Manual. And
you might say it’s like the three branches of government: you have executive,
judiciary and congressional or legislative. With the Pastor Emeritus gone
from the scene, here were the directors in that position, and they were
lording it over… they fired a member, in order to test their powers,
they fired a member of the Board of Trustees. Well, that, of course, put
them into litigation, and it finally was decided in favor of the directors
because somebody saw which side the bread was buttered on. As I say, at
that time, whole churches disappeared from the roster around the world.
Well, I never lost my interest in increasing my understanding of the revelation
as given in Science and Health and the other writings. So while
I severed my connection with the Board, at a point when they began calling
me on the carpet when I was teaching Sunday school, and I had the adult
class. You can’t go to Christian Science Sunday school after you’re twenty
years old, according to the manual. It was a very wise decision (inaudible).
I started to say, I was being called on the carpet by the branch church
because it must be personal adulation because I’m the only teacher in
the Sunday school that has a full class. ‘They come early and they stay
late… they have to put you out in order to lock up the church. Then
they stay there on the lawn for another hour. It’s personal adulation.”
Well, finally, I will say in favor of one lady on the Board who
had a son and a daughter in that class, she said… She’s such a timid
little soul. She said, “I would like to say that whatever may be wrong,
my son and my daughter are doing their own work now. I don’t have the
practitioner bills I used to have.”
Ron: You know them by their fruits.
Freedom: Casting around, through the years, I widened
the limits of what I would read. I found myself reading everything under
the sun, and one of my erst-patients from Christian Science days got me
a library copy of Your Faith Is Your Fortune by one called Neville,
and said “I know you read everything now, and this is nothing but manipulation
and hypnotism, but I wonder what you think of it. It’s from the library,
so when you finish, return it to the library yourself, I don’t need it.”
There was not a jacket on it; there was not a thing to tell me a word
about Neville; there was nothing but the content of that book. I spent
the night reading it, and at 4:00 o’clock in the morning, I was walking
my cocker spaniel up and down Vespers Avenue in Van Nuys, looking through
buildings, looking through trees. Everything was so transparent, I could
see it all. And I thought, where have I been? So I put down the name of
the publisher who was listed in Los Angeles. G. & J. Publishing, not
J. & L. Somebody in Cambria who saw this circular, and said, “I thought
Grace and Jack went out of business.” He was looking at G. & J., the
publishers of Neville’s book. I asked them if there were any other books,
because Your Faith Is Your Fortune was his first book, and this
library copy didn’t list any others. I said, “Where can I get more of
these books, are there any more?” They said, “Oh yes, and Neville lives
here now; he doesn’t live in New York any more; he lives in Los Angeles,
and he lectures twice a week at the Wilshire on Mondays and Thursdays.
You can get his books there.” Well, the very next Thursday, I went the
first chance I could, and I could hear his voice coming over the loud
speaker, but I would not go in. I bought one book because that’s all I
could afford to pay for it. I took Freedom for All. On the following
Monday, I went again. I bought Prayer, The Art of Believing. The
next Thursday, I went again, and I bought Feeling
Is the Secret. One by one, I bought his books, until I had them all.
Reading them without going in to hear him, because I knew myself so well
(they say you’re a star worshipper). When you find somebody who gives
himself so completely to what he’s doing, I knew that by going in to see
him or hear him, before I had read his entire output, I knew I was subject
to one of two things. Either he would be such a disappointment, such that
I wouldn’t pursue it, or else, he would be so
magnetic that I would believe anything, no matter what he told me. So
avoided going to see him and hear him until I had read all that he had
written. And I read, as Ahmad was saying this morning, in Iran, when you
speak criticism, it has a negative connotation, they’re inclined to find
fault with you. I was very much like that. I was reading all of Neville’s
books seeing where he was going to trip himself up. And I couldn’t find
a place that he did. So, when I had read them all, the next Monday, I
went to the lecture, and there I began kicking myself up and down all
the hills that I wasted the opportunity, because this began to unfold.
I went back to see him after the first lecture. I said, “Do you teach
privately?” He said, “No.” As short as that. He said, “You are the operant
Power.” Not meaning my person, although I’m afraid I must have thought
at that time that was what he meant. “You are the operant Power.” He said
that it’s a Pinciple that proves itSelf in performance. “I no longer take
individual students.” Well, I continued going; this was then in June until
he closed. I heard him five or six times before he closed and went for
his two weeks in San Francisco. When he came back from San Francisco,
I gave him two case histories of where I had put it to work. He was delighted.
So, I never missed a single lecture from then until the calendar had come
around another year, and he went to San Francisco, and that was where
he had this “Birth from Above,” which changed the entire direction of
his teaching. And that hall was full when he opened. It held three hundred
people there in the Fine Arts Auditorium at the Wilshire in Los Angeles.
That hall was full, and he told this shocking story in the most literal
terms of being born through the skull of his head as a womb opens. And
the next night, that was on Monday, the next Thursday, there were thirty
people. The next Monday, there were twelve. He kept telling it, and so
after the third night, and the audience was down to twelve, Freddy Messenger,
who was his agent, he said, “Neville, you’ve got to stop telling that
story or you’ll have no audience at all.” He said, “Then I’ll tell it
to the bare walls.” And Neville would have. That’s the beauty of it, and
he almost did. He did begin shaving off those rough edges; those very
clinical aspects of the way it was being told. He certainly did no modify
in any way the meaning of it. It was pure Scripture, but told in the language
of person, in a place, doing a thing. So, when he had this vision of being
born from above, and his own audience was falling away, and he asked me…
he had his wife ask me when I bought my ticket to go in, he said, “Ask
him if he will give us a ride home tonight, because Neville
never drove in his life; he never owned a car; he never had a driver’s
license; neither did his wife. I was so delighted to have those people
in my car; they were the stars. I even washed the car.
(Laughter) Drive them home – boy would I! He fixed
me the most potent double scotch. Neville adored a good martini. I’ve
seen him finish a pitcher of martinis and go right on the platform without…
he said, “I just like the lift it gives me.”
He was never “under the influence.” But he certainly did love it. In fact,
someone in his audience… I was there one night and she said, “Neville,
I have heard it said that you drink. Do you drink?” He said, “Do I drink?!
Of course, I drink.” And he said, “May I tell you I do nothing in moderation.”
(Laughter) He said, “They used to tell me, ‘You’re just like your father,’
and I am. My father finished a fifth of gin every morning of his life
before ten o’clock.” That was Neville-magnificent
_____________. Anyway, he asked me that night if I
would go to San Francisco and teach. I said, “I don’t know anything about
teaching. I’d never taught anything but Sunday school in my life. He said,
“The principle proves itself in performance. I can’t
give you a nickel, but you’re presentable and articulate. You understand
this obviously from the case histories you’ve sent me. And when you write,
it’s literate. I don’t have to rephrase it. I can put this just as you
wrote it. I can put it in a book. So I would like you, since they would
like me to come to San Francisco more often and I can’t; I live in Los
Angeles; I would like you to go there. I’ll give you my list.” He said,
“Do you have a list?” I said, “A list of what?” I could have been a laundry
list; I didn’t know. So he put his mailing list in San Francisco at my
disposal.
Sandra: What year was that?
Freedom: 1960. I moved there on New Year’s Day. Bernard
and his mother drove me and my cocker spaniel to San Francisco, and I
said good-bye to the south land I thought forever. Encouraged by Neville’s
great vision that everybody that had come to him, and he had filled the
Scottish Rite Auditorium, they would all be there for me. That’s what
he felt sure would be the case. So I gave myself a month to get myself
together in San Francisco. I sent out my notices to start on February
3rd in the little book store where his agent, Lord and Jordan (there’s
always a “J” in his agents, isn’t there?). These publishers all seem to
have a “J”. They let me have the use of their little metaphysical book
store which would seat thirty people. I might have it… he said, “You’ll
have to have it at least 6 times a week if you’re going to seat thirty
people each time.” So I sent notices that I
would have the lecture at 12:00 on Monday, at 2:00 on Monday and at 7:30
or perhaps 8:00 on Monday evening. And I was going to do the same on Thursday,
but by that time, the bookstore had already left that evening; that was
mine. So I had five chances to make it. Admission was $1.00 each. Well,
at my first meeting, the heavens opened that day and drenched, talk about
the deluge of Noah. The city was washed clean in the heaviest rain I ever
saw in the years I lived there. Three people came to my 12:00 o’clock
lecture. There were 6 at the 2:00 o’clock, and in the evening, it was
full. They could come in the evening, I learned by that. On Thursday,
there were 4 people at the noon lecture. Word got around, I guess. But
by the end of the first month, it was quite obvious that we were not going
to get anywhere, because there was only one evening that anybody could
come. So I turned to Sunday mornings, and moved to the Marine’s Memorial
Club where there was an auditorium to seat enough people, and they began
coming. But not very many. It was very disappointing, and pretty soon,
they came out from under the woodwork and began tell me, “Why don’t you
give up and go back to Los Angeles. You don’t have any audience, you’re
never going to have an audience here.” I wondered about that for awhile
until someone the network came out and said, “You know you’re never going
to get this off the ground here because there is a group of Neville’s
students that are going to see to it that you don’t succeed.” And it was
in the picture; there was a network that gone around saying “he’s just
a fraud; Neville never sent him; Neville wouldn’t do a thing to us like
that. If he were going to have anyone speak in San Francisco, I would
have been the one that he would have sent.” So I wrote to Neville about
it, and his wife always wrote the letters, I have the letter he wrote
back to me. “Let no one dissuade you. My vision has never lied to me.
If you could not do it, I would never have been told to send you.” Period.
That’s Neville.
He could be brief. He spoke of someone who went on
and on and on, and he said “she’s a woman of a few million words.” So
anyway, I did go, and I did teach there until 1975. By that time, I’d
been doing the Castle stint, but I did have to travel. But I’ve gotten
off my chronology. When Neville came back from his stay in Barbados, he
had gone home to die; he was in terrible shape. Everybody had told him
he was going to last, and he, himself, didn’t believe he was going to,
so he wanted me to take over his Los Angeles audience. That was when I
came to Cambria, because it was half way between Los Angeles and San Francisco.
If I’d gone by the picture, I would have stayed
in San Francisco, because the Los Angeles… the night he introduced me
to his Los Angeles audience, they were there in full force at the Women’s
University Club, and it was full. O.K. The next day, he, Bill and their
daughter went back to Barbados, and the next time I had maybe fifteen
people there. The Los Angeles bunch never took over; it didn’t work there.
So I began living in Cambria and going to San Francisco to do it, and
then it was after I stopped that that Viv invited me to come. That was
back in 1984 that I went up and did the Holy Week class. So I guess that’s
the history of it…
(Inaudible question)
Everytime he came, I was always with him, as one
brought up with him. Neville swore, he said, “You’re the only one that
I’ve authorized to speak my work.” I haven’t spoken his work exactly,
and he knows that. He said, “I don’t want you to say what I say. This
thing must unfold. It’s totally different. The funny thing was, though,
when I went to San Francisco, when they did come, they’d say, “Are you
his son? You look just like Neville.” Well, I look no more like Neville
than I do like a hummingbird. What they were seeing was that the likeness
or the similarity of viewpoint and the message that was coming forth was
somewhat the same. I started out giving Neville credit for every word
I was saying, even though it was pretty obvious after a while that I was
going in a different direction away from the… what he called “the difference
between the law and the Promise.” My work was more and more in the Promise,
and it was not told in that language of being born from above, because
it’s an experience that I’ve never had. I believe every word of it; I
know that it’s true because Neville is like that. One day, when someone
said, “He just has hallucinations; he’s standing up there telling us a
bunch dreams that he has; they’re just all illusion,” and he heard somebody
say something like that, and he said, “This body disintegrate in your
presence if what I’m telling you isn’t the absolute Truth.” He was calling
on such Power to destroy him if it weren’t absolutely True. So you know
you can believe Neville; if he said it, you know it was true.
_______________: Would his disappearance have proved
it or disproved it?
Freedom: When it finally did disappear, it went exactly
in accord with the way he said it would happened. He said, “Someday, without
any previous warning, someone will say, ‘He probably had a heart attack.'”
______________: Is that how he died?
Freedom: Apparently, that was the diagnosis. Of course,
there was no one with him at the time.
______________: It had nothing to do with a fifth
of gin every morning?
Freedom: (Inaudible) He did, in those last years,
after he went back to Barbados… One of his brothers was a doctor who
had practiced in Canada, and he went back to Barbados to retire, and he
got him back to where he was well, but he also greatly reduced the intake
of gin.
In fact when they did the medical examination when
his daughter found his body the next morning (she went to the apartment
and had to let herself in and there he was), the examiner said was he
a heavy drinker? That was the first question.
Sandra: Why?
Freedom: Because, apparently there had been this sudden
aneurysm that just exploded. Apparently there was blood everywhere, all
over the place. I don’t want to get into that picture of it, but what
he said was: “When it happens, they will say, ‘Oh, he probably died of
a heart attack.'” He so identified himSelf as what he really is, that
he wouldn’t think in those physical terms at all. In fact, his wife told
me that he asked her one day early in that year, he said, “How many days
is it from a certain date in July, 1969 to October 1, 1972?” This is in
the spring of 1972 he asked her that. And so she figured it out, and it
was 1,260 days, whatever it is from the Book of Daniel. That was the time
from the vision of being born from Above to the date of the Resurrection.
So he made his exit in the wee hours of the morning of October 1, 1972.
And she said to me, “Why did he choose that day?” And I said, “I don’t
think he chose it, I think it was revealed to him. I think he knew that
it was that day. He didn’t personally select it.” Yes, Vern?
Vern: In San Francisco, Neville said very few words
about his relationship with Abdullah except that he worked with him seven
days a week for seven years. Did he ever tell you about his…?
Freedom: Yes, indeed. Did Neville tell me about his
work with Abdullah? See, the thing is, Neville’s meeting with Abdullah
almost didn’t come off because Neville resisted it. Neville had a friend
who was a Catholic priest who said, “There is someone here in New York
City who speaks something that is akin to what you say. I think you ought
to get together.” He said, “I wouldn’t trust that priest as far as I could
spit.” He said, “He knew all the best places to eat and drink, but I didn’t
trust him on matter of spiritual perception. So I said, ‘Forget
it.'” So he put it off and put it off. The priest kept nagging him to
come and meet this man. So six months had gone by from the time he first
started persuading him to when he actually went with him. They opened
the door, without any word being spoken Abdullah said, “Neville, (a total
stranger) you’re six months late. The brothers told me you were coming.”
The “brothers” meaning from Abdullah “the Society of Awakened God.” So,
“the brothers told me you were coming.” He worked with him… by saying
worked with him, Neville was not in a position to pay for instruction
because he didn’t have a sou, but he worked for him. He cleaned his apartment,
and Abdullah taught him Hebrew. He taught him the language, he taught
him the basics of what later became Neville’s Premise. So after Abdullah
had decided that Neville had enough, and this was seven full years, he
just closed his doors to everybody. He didn’t take in the newspapers,
he didn’t take in the milk when it was delivered, and this was his way
of telling Neville “you’re out of the nest, you have to go, you have to
do it.” So Neville borrowed $5.00 from the woman who became his wife,
he hired a room in which to speak, and he went out to give the first lecture
he had ever given, and just as he was ready to leave, there came a knock
at the door. He opened it and here’s this little boy that looked like
the picture of any run away child you’ve ever seen with a little bandanna
with his worldly belongings carried over his shoulder and a note from
his mother, who was Neville’s divorced wife. She had divorced him because
she couldn’t take his interest in the esoteric, and he had done everything
and used every persuasion he could to get custody of that son. Nothing
would persuade her. Here of his own accord he comes and there is reenacted
the scene that he had done in his mind’s eye when he was working that
system to get the custody of his child. He used to imagine that he was
standing behind his dining chair, with his hand cupped over the child’s
head. So, he said, “Here was this boy with his bundle of goods and a note
from his mother saying, ‘ there is someone else in my life, I haven’t
room for the three of us.'” She had sent him home to his father. He brought
him in, gave him supper and took him with him to the first lecture he
ever gave. He said, “If I ever needed to know that what I was telling
was the truth, I had proof before I took the platform for the first time.”
I’ve heard it said that Neville met Abdullah on his way to one of his
lectures. Well, Neville had never given a lecture until after he had worked
for seven years for Abdullah. Besides teaching him Hebrew, he taught him
the basics of Greek, so he would understand the Source of Scripture.
_________________: (Inaudible question)
Freedom: Nothing. As far as any religion, Neville
never learned religion, he was a Church of England… he was an Anglican,
Episcopalian, you might say, by upbringing. His upbringing was Church
of England, Anglican… (Inaudible question) Neville had been having visions
since the time he was seven years old, so what Abdula was teaching him
was essentially the Spiritual meaning of the New Testament. He said he
dealt very little with the Old Testament.
Vern: (Inaudible) He told us one time what happened
during the seven years of his childhood. He said it happened every month,
he always knew when it was coming, and he dreaded it…
Freedom: He dreaded having visions.
Vern: He’d go to sleep at night and he would be a
wave that the ocean was tossing into the air and then catching again.
It frightened him, he said. And then all of a sudden, they stopped…
Freedom: He had visions, he never stopped having visions
from the time he was seven years old until he made his exit. He may still
be having them for all I know, because the birth from Above was…
What?
Tirza: This may be one of them.
Freedom: Right. This may be one of them. I don’t know
why we got off on all that.
____________: I think it was wonderful.
Tirza: His name means “dweller in the New Estate,”
which is, of course, exactly what he stood for.
Freedom: You see, according to Abdullah, Neville meant
“prophet of God.” That’s what Abdullah told him his name meant.
___________: Is his daughter still alive?
Freedom: Yes, Vicki… she was born in 1942. She lives
in Los Angeles. We’re in touch. She’s not interested in this at all. She
is the executor of his estate, and has charge of the publishing of his
books. His son, by the first marriage, lives in Barbados. His name is
Neville Joseph, Jr., but he has always gone by the name of Joe. He didn’t
want any of this Neville stuff.
__________: Did his wife die?
Freedom: His wife died, she followed him in two years.
____________: Isn’t there an autobiography on him,
other than like yourself…?
Freedom: No. There is no written biography of Neville.
____________: He had a TV show…?
Freedom: He did lectures for twenty six weeks on television
in Los Angeles.
__________: Are there any tapes?
Freedom: They didn’t have tapes in those days. That’s
a technology that’s been developed since…. However, the content of those
meetings, because those were little fifteen minute time slots, the content
of those meetings are on two thirty rpm disks. Do you have access to those,
Jenny? The records? (Answer inaudible) If we made audio tapes of each
of the records, could that be transcribed to further tapes? Would you
like those? I can do that, because I have both the records.
Jenny: Tell me about Grace and Jack; first of all,
this morning I saw a book in her satchel, The Power of Awareness,
going back published by…
Freedom: G & J, Grace and Jack Weeks. I think
they’re both gone. I never met them; I don’t know, I never met them. The
time I telephoned their office, I talked with somebody, a clerk, in the
office, but I never met Grace and Jack Weeks.
Jenny: I was thinking what a gift they gave to all
of us.
Freedom: Really. And they told him when he tried to
get Your Faith Is Your Fortune published, there was a publisher
in New York that he took it to, they read it through and said, “You’ll
never sell ten copies of that book.” I don’t know how many hundreds of
thousands of copies have been sold, because he used to fill Steinway Hall
in New York three times a week, and they sold books every night, and that
book has been through I don’t know how many reprintings at 50,000 copies
apiece. It’s a wonderful… The first statement of his great vision…
Are you freezing? Let’s walk around a little bit and then we’ll come back,
and we must get into some of this material.
Freedom: If anything is completely alien to your usual
experience, don’t immediately start assuming that you must be going crazy.
It still may be prudent to avoid spreading around what you’ve experienced
until it is clear to you what it indicates. But as far as the oddity of
it is concerned, don’t let it throw you. You know we spoke yesterday when
they said Wagner was crazy because he sometimes climbed a tree and hooted
like a owl, then they asked him what he thought would define sanity and
he said, “To occasionally climb a tree and hoot like an owl.” O.K. I’m
thinking of William Blake saying, because he was constantly being told
that he was insane and when they told him he was insane, he had just said
that it will be said, “When you see the sun,
do you not see a red fiery disk about the size of a guinea?” He said,
“No, no, no, I see an innumerable company of the heavenly hosts, singing
‘Holy, Holy, Holy Is the Lord God Almighty.'” And they said, “He’s insane.”
They said, “Look, there is not Alleluia Chorus ninety million miles out
in space.” He said, “Neither is there a guinea.” It is whatever your enlarged
and numerous senses can perceive, so if you suddenly find yourself confronted
with your first vision of a flying saucer, before telling somebody that
you’ve seen it and listening to them when they tell you you’re nuts, there’s
no such thing… open up the possibility of there anything. Because whatever
it is appearing, it will never be anything more than what you are appearing
to you in the shape of your capacity to comprehend it. There is a Scriptural
verse that covers that where it says, “God doth not tempt ye above that
ye are able, but will with the temptation make a way of escape.” Since
it is This Conscious Being awaking, it isn’t going to come across something
that it is not capable of handling. That should come as a reassurance.
This is why Neville said that he did not… when he
and Aldous Huxley took L.S.D., just to find out from their own experience
what it was like, because there was a culture growing up around that at
the time. So they had someone take notes of what they were saying while
they were under the influence of lysergic acid. It took, incidentally,
three times the dosage to put Neville under than it took to put Aldous
Huxley under. And Neville said that the experience he had while under
it was not terribly unlike the experiences he had from his own naturally
unfolded visions. Everything was just as real as this is real; everything
was three dimensional to him; everything had color, only sometimes the
colors were intensified in vision beyond what they are in normal 3D. But
he said, when he came out of it, he had the most monumental hangover he
had ever had in his life, and he said his conviction was that is not a
good thing for anybody to do, because those are artificially induced visions,
and you may not be ready to handle them. Whereas, when it comes naturally,
Consciousness is naturally awakening itself from its misconceptions about
itself; when it comes naturally, with it comes the means of escape. With
it comes the means of seeing through it; whereas, if it’s artificially
introduced, you may not, indeed, be capable of seeing it, and that’s where
you may go, as they say, around the bend. So this is where I say, “Exercise
prudence.” I’m not at all interested in experimenting with artificial
ways. (The crows chatter interrupts, but Freedom says it doesn’t bother
him, because the crow is having such a good time.)
Amad: (Asks question about what happens to us after
death.)
Freedom: What picture does one have of self after
the experience called death. That’s akin to what I was speaking to Bob
about during the break. My sense of what happens after death is what has
been happening all along. I speak of this as my body; actually what it
is is an embodiment of my conceptions of myself. And my conceptions of
myself have been altering since I can remember being conscious. I was
conscious of being a very nervous, hyper-over active child. I was conscious
of being an adolescent; I was conscious of being a young adult; I’m conscious
of being an old adult. The fact is, all of those conceptions have been
dying all along. I am here, and my current conception of myself must be
here. The thing is, one hundred billion years from today, I, the timeless
Being, will still be embodying some conception of myself, and that will
appear me to be my body. As Neville said in visions, he never had any
sense of being anyone other than Neville, even when he was embraced by
the embodiment of Love, he knew he was Neville, even though the fusion
was so intense that he knew what he really was. So then, when you say,
“Where did he go?” He could not go away from where he was saying “I”.
We speak of this as being a third dimension. I speak of that as being
a fourth dimension where Neville goes. Because, Neville was so Conscious
of Being the Being that He Is, that the personal definition was of so
little consequence to him that it could be dropped off at any second.
But that didn’t stop him from embodying something immediately that was
very, perhaps, unlike what the medical examiner picked up and took away.
In other words, the destruction of a misconception is not the demolishment
of it as a physical act. What it is is an awakening to a better sense
of it when the old sense disappears. You read that over and over again
in… we will be doing that in Revelation where God wipes away
all tears. There will be no more death. Why? Because the first sense has
passed away, and there is no more sea. There isn’t that ebbing and flowing,
tossing and turning, forever changing… I see myself as I Am. And it’s
a never ending Self disclosure, so not having been there on
that scene where Neville made that sudden discovery that he was instantly
more than this and dropped that. What he did, I could not conjecture.
I dare not say, because all of his experiences recorded in vision were
things that were beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.
Therefore, I have always said that those experiences…
where he would put on the margins of his Bible the experiences like being
born from Above with 7-16-59. Anything that was Scriptural, when he experienced
it individually, he would make that notation in his Bible where that had
been experienced. So what I’m saying is, the experience is recognizable
to you in language that is familiar to you.
It would not necessarily come that way… that experience
I recorded in I Do where I was walking
in San Francisco, and I suddenly had this experience of Being everything
I saw; I was also this, but I was everything else. I was all there was
to anything I saw. Well, that was in a sense, Being Born from Above. It
wasn’t in the terminology that Neville saw; it would never come necessarily
in the same way… the scenery will not be the
same in every case, so if you’re waiting for that clinical birth from
Above, I may say don’t be disappointed if it hasn’t happened yet, that
doesn’t mean you’re dull at all.
Vern: Neville said when he knew Abdullah, in our three
dimensional world, he was a black Ethiopian Jew, but when he had a vision,
Abdullah took the form of a Caucasian, but he was still recognizable to
him as Abdullah, but he took the form of Caucasian.
Freedom: Right. I heard somebody say to me that she
prayed so hard… she knew of someone who… a black person who wanted
to be white, and that she prayed so hard that she became white. I say
what’s wrong with accepting yourself as you are. I call that just plain
manipulation again: a scene for a scene for a scene for a scene.
Why not wake out of your nightmare of being white
or being black or being whatever? You’re so much more than that. Neville
said that Abdullah in New York, this we’re talking about New York in the
’20’s and the 1930’s when what is called racial
prejudice was so ripe that no black person either with all the money in
the world would walk up to a box office and ask for a ticket in the orchestra,
because black persons were seated behind posts in the cheap seats in the
house no matter how much money they had. Neville said Abdullah never fell
for that. He never let anyone buy a ticket for him; he was passionately
fond of opera; he would walk right up the box office and say, “I would
like two in fifth row center please,” and they gave him two in fifth row
center. He said, “No one ever discriminates against you because of the
color of your skin; people discriminate against you because you have that
sense of yourself, and he knew what he was talking about. (Inaudible question)
Right. Therefore, it’s all of me. What he’s saying,
and you know as well as I do, that what he is saying is what we’ve heard
him say in other lectures that the observer is not separate from the observed,
because the observer couldn’t observe it if it were separate from the
observer, they couldn’t see it if it were not within the purview of the
observer. So if what appears to me as everybody
in human history being in this air, that air that it’s in is Spiritual.
It is not in this smog laden air of Los Angeles, let’s say. It is in Being,
and that’s a purely Spiritual experience, and
it’s absolutely true that Infinite Consciousness Is All there Is to anything
that has ever appeared as Jesus or Buddha or anyone else. (Inaudible question)
The thing is when you say there, it is still not
outside of the Consciousness of it, so I think that last paragraph of
I Do may sum that up, where it says: “Instead of the many, unite
them not make up One; One the Divine Imaginer expresses Its Living as
the many, because of the limitless Nature of
Its Own Being, it expresses it as others. (Inaudible question)
Absolutely. It is the historical sense that suffers,
and that historical sense is something that the I absorbed and maintained.
I am plotting for myself to experience. This is why I love to teach the
overcoming of dramatized states through the awakening of its counter-Feature
in me, because only that way do I prevent that dramatized portrayal from…
if I keep seeing the same thing enacted and reenacted, and reenacted I
am inviting myself into playing that experience, because I still believe
it to be a happening circumstance, and if I don’t see through that condition,
because it appears… if I’ve accepted as a paraded condition that is
real, I haven’t seen through it as a dramatized state, but the minute
I have, I have spared myself the experience of having to put that on like
a coat and wear that experience. It’s in here someplace…
Sandra: Is that the way the Jewish people keep teaching
in school about the holocaust over and over; it’s like they want to stay
in it.
Freedom: Right, and I know. I videotaped on PBS a
couple of weeks ago the documentary on Menuhin, Yehudi Menuhin, the great
violinist, the child prodigy, who when they lived in San Francisco when
he was a little boy… in fact before he was born, she went, because they
knew he was coming, she went to find a larger apartment and was refused…
everything was right, they had plenty of money, until he said, “Well,
we would never rent to a Jew.” So he was born, they went someplace else
and found a place, and he was born to be proud of being himself and he
never ever made… It showed him addressing the Kennesset (sp?), and it
showed him being very, very clear in his admonitions. He said, “The greatest
mistakes you have made is you have perpetuated
the belief that Jews were the only ones persecuated. There were many:
Hungarians, gypsies, all kinds who were persecuted.
The sympathy of the world has been used up.
And to go on: The only answer to Jerusalem is keep it open and let anyone
live there who will
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